Thursday 30 May 2013

5 Appropriate Ways to Deal with Stress

5 Appropriate Ways to Deal with Stress

Claire  - Thursday, May 30, 2013

If you had a chance to read this blog on Primal Responses to Fear, you may have recognised some of your own patterns to how you respond to stress. Stress is a normal part of everyone’s life. Small amounts are what get us out of bed in the mornings and motivate us to make positive changes in our lives. It is chronic high levels of stress and responding to stress in a self-destructive way, self-defeating way or both.

Being able to recognise what our default response to stress is good, but what is even better is working our which forms of stress relief will have the biggest impact to help us move towards a happier healthier life. Each of the stress responses requires a different counter action.

So, here are 5 suggestions on how to de-stress based on your default responses:

1. For the Fighter: The fighter often gets caught up in how bad it all is and can cave under the intense feeling of how unfair life is. A gratitude journal is the perfect way to counter the stress of life. Start by writing down what is good, but then really focus on why it is good. Feel into your body the emotions that come with the good stuff, the deep sense of love and joy.

2. For those that take flight: Running away can be a great response to being chased by a lion, but most of the time in our modern lives we are just trying to dodge and avoid problems that will keep springing up until they are fixed. Meditation is the best way to stop running. Seeking that stillness within your mind and your body will help to balance the adrenaline of flight.

3. For those that freeze: No matter how little you change things, the world has moved around since you became stuck. There is no status quo; things will never be the same again regardless of your stillness. Move, move your body, run, dance, jump, skip, climb. Move your furniture, swap you cupboards or draws around. But move.

4. Disassociation is a lack of connection. When being connected has created pain and fear in the past, you will move away from it and from yourself. To release this link between connection and pain, you need to connect in love. A great way to do this is to sit cross-legged opposite someone you love and trust and look into each other’s eyes. There is no need for words, just hold each other’s graze and allow any emotions to bubble to the surface. You could also try dipping strawberries in chocolate and feeding each other to release extra oxytocin, the hormone of love and bonding.

5. Tend and Befriend. When your value is completely attached to how others see you, it creates a huge amount of pressure to perform for them. If this is your default stress response then to de-stress requires some alone time. Getting out in nature, without phones and friends just time for you is a good way to counter the expectations of others. Nature has no judgment and no expectations of you. Nature doesn't care if you are Christian or Japanese or hairy or skinny or a thief or write poetry. Being on your own in nature is the best way to counter tend and befriend.

Looking at it this way, you can see why it is important to tailor your stress relief to how you respond to stress. Meditation for those that freeze will do as much good as running for those that take flight. Now is the time to look at your patterns to work out what will work for you.


Saturday 18 May 2013

Primal Fear Responses - Guest Blog

Cortisol, adrenalin and our primal fear responses. 

Myra Seberry - Saturday, May 18, 2013 
I'm touching on this subject today after a counsellor friend of mine was talking about how he gets paralysed with fear over the most simple of tasks. He knew it was in some way related to childhood when his father would scream and shout at him and he would be terrified into immobilisation. What he didn't know is that is one of our primary primal survival techniques.
Many people think that fight or flight are the two only survival strategies we have, but in fact there are a few more at our disposal that we use probably far more frequently. Here is a quick rundown on each and their benefits and how we misuse them and end up very unhealthy with cortisol resistance and adrenal fatigue.

Fight

fight
Prehistorically if you were strong enough to fight and kill an animal that was attacking you, you would need a good dose aggression, physical strength and determination to kill your prey. Your body would supply you with enough adrenaline to put up the best fight of your life. Today there is not too much need for this in everyday life. Although, if imagine your child trapped beneath a car, your adrenal glands would dump a whole lot of adrenalin into your blood so you would have the strength to pick up that car (fighting for your child’s life).
Where we use the fight response inappropriately:
  • Screaming at our kids in frustration
  • Cyber angst on Facebook and other social media
  • Bullying in the school playground
  • Domestic violence
  • Road rage situation
  • Pub Brawls

Flight

Prehistorically if you saw a sabre-toothed tiger coming for you your body would spike your cortisol and adrenaline so you ran the fastest race of your life. Today a good flight response would be if you saw a car suddenly coming toward you quick adrenaline and cortisol spikes will get you out of there quick.
Where we use the flight response inappropriately:
  • Avoiding confrontation in fear of the consequences
  • Substance abuse
  • Anorexia or Over eating
  • Moving house a lot
  • Lots of short relationships
  • TV and computer addiction
  • Athletes that have to run, jump and fly to feel free
  • Hiding in art, drawing, writing, dancing and music

Immobilise 

Prehistorically if it was dark and there was danger nearby you would get that spike of cortisol and the adrenalin would be your indication to do something but maybe you have a baby or you’re not physical strong enough to fight or run so you freeze completely so that your almost invisible and thus protecting yourself and your young as best you can.
Today were that comes into action is often in rape and night time attacks. Women in particular can have this response, becoming completely paralysed with fear. It is a natural response unfortunately it doesn't work in our modern world and we are faced wondering why we didn't fight when the simple truth is our primal instinct took in the circumstances and went with the prehistoric way or the way that worked as a child.
Where we use the freeze response inappropriately:
  • When you’re speaking in public, your mind freezes and you can’t find the words you need.
  • You’re stressed in a situation and again just find yourself immobilised with fear. This is common in car accidents and exams.
  • You find it difficult to make decisions when under pressure.

Disassociation

In reality disassociation is like a sub-response  to flight and immobilise and generally seen in children or men of war.
Prehistorically if a child witnessed or was part of catastrophic disaster eg. Community attack, earth quake or animal attack. To free them self from the trauma they may completely forget the event ever happened or close their eyes and go in their imagination to a safer place.
In todays world we see this happen to children who have been abused physically and sexually. They can suffer from amnesia, dissociative disorders, multiple personality disorders. In the case of war the trauma inflicted on soldiers manifests as post traumatic stress.
Personally I witnessed this happen to my sister. When she was seven she kicked a nest of wasps that were hidden under a picnic table. She was immediately attacked by hundreds of wasps, as I was wiping them from her body there was so much adrenalin in my body I couldn't feel them stinging me. After the event she was covered in stings and in incredible pain. That evening as soon as the pain left her body she couldn't remember the attack at all. To this day she has no recollection of the event, yet remembers the rest of the events of that day!
Versions of this in everyday life manifest as:
  • Prolonged daydreaming
  • Forgetfulness
  • Feeling like your not quite with it or vagueness
  • OCD
  • Speaking then not realising what you said or did.

Tend and befriend

This is almost the opposite to fight or flight and is seen mostly in women especially if they have children. It is also seen in men but not as often. Prehistorically it was safer for women with small children to be with others so that the collective could protect each other. You tended to the needs of your community and if there were threats to the community you as a group you were safer. If you were in a threatening situation or taken by another group the safest thing to do was befriend the enemy and cooperate and possibly integrate into that new environment.
Unlike flight, fight or freeze, cortisol spikes when you’re not feeling part of a tribe, community or family. The hormones at work when you’re feeling safe and in a loving community are oxytocin, oestrogen and endorphins.
Today this is seen positively in loving families, communities, support groups, friendship groups and in team sports. Trying to create the release of these hormones in a hostile environment is also a survival response to high adrenalin and cortisol.
Where we use the tend and befriend response inappropriately:
  • Being “trapped” in an unhealthy relationship
  • Becoming excessively giving to the detriment of yourself, be it with your time or your resources.
  • Stockholm syndrome
  • “Bitchiness” as a way to fit in.
  • Obsessions on how we look, are we sexy?
  • Having unclear boundaries within relationships.
  • Maintaining relationships out of guilt.
  • Clinginess
  • Helicopter parenting
  • Stalking
  • Even creating “sickness” or drama habits.
I think it is really important to clarify that almost all of these things can be an appropriate response to the stressors of life. It is important to give voice to injustices. Altruism is an extraordinary part of humanity. Expressing your self in art or movement is an amazing way to deal with issues. When it is inappropriate is when it becomes chronic and addictive and not focusing on creating solutions.
So the question to pose is what is your dominant survival strategy and are you aware of it?
Give yourself a bit of time to think back to when you were a child. What did you do when you were feeling threatened or stressed?
Did you hide out till it was safe?
Did you kick and scream till you felt heard or got your needs met?
Were you so small that there was no were to go so you pretended you were invisible, staying quiet and completely still till the threat stopped?
letting-go-web2
Or did you quickly learn to do favours and get on the right side of whoever was causing the threat?
When you learn these responses as a child what happens as an adult is every time you get a spike of cortisol you default to the survival strategy as a child not giving your body a chance to relax. Every little stressful event puts your body into survival mode shutting down, your growth hormones, sex hormones, impinging on your circulation, brain function etc...
Finding ways to stop that default, through meditation, hypnosis, movement and good nutrition will in turn give your body a chance to heal and rejuvenate in a balanced way.

Monday 13 May 2013

Wake up with a Fat Black!

Wake up with a Fat Black!
Claire Aslangul - Monday, May 13, 2013



I guess the first thing I should do is explain what a fat black is. A fat black is either a long black or espresso coffee with butter and/or coconut oil in it. It is also known as bulletproof coffee.

I think most people's reaction to the notion of putting butter in coffee is; why? It doesn't seem like the sort of combination that would excite the taste-buds, but you would be surprised at how good it is. But it is not just about the flavour, the fat black has some amazing health benefits too.

Fat blacks are great for your brain!

There are two ways that brain cells are energised. The first is to "burn" glucose, This is the most common way in our society as we have such a sugar and carbohydrate based diet. Glucose easily crosses the blood-brain barrier and when blood sugars are high it is the simplest way for cells to become energised. The second way brain cells are energised is by a process called ketosis. Ketosis tends to get a bit of a bad wrap, but let me explain why it is great for your brain. There is a process called myelination, which is where a fatty coating is created around brain and nerve cells. This coating allows for better communication between cells and is vital for complex brain function. Myelination is obviously supercharged when you are a kid and particularly in your frontal lobe (learning centre) during teen years. But it can continue through out your life. This myelination process ONLY occurs under ketosis! Ketosis will only occur if insulin is low.

Fat blacks super-drive ketosis in the brain. The caffeine picks up the good fats out of the butter and coconut oil, drags the across the blood-brain barrier and force feeds them to the brain cells. Instant myelination! This helps you to comprehend things better, increases cognition, increases coordination, reaction times, problem solving and enhances feelings of well being. Lack of myelination can cause diseases like multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, ADD/ADHD, epilepsy and autism spectrum disorders. Fat Black = Brain Food!

Fat blacks are perfect for weight optimisation.

If you are overweight, kick starting this ketosis thing trains your body into using its excessive fats stores as fuel. This occurs through helping to resensitise cells to leptin and through encouraging cells to use fats as an energy source without converting them into glucose first. This means efficient fat burning without over stimulating your thyroid and increasing your stress levels.

Fat Blacks make you go faster and longer!

When you train both your brain and your other cells to work under fat-burning ketosis, it increases your VO2 max! You cells actually use up less oxygen and produce greater output. It also means not hitting the wall, your body is attuned to using its fat stores as fuel straight away. You almost never run out of energy as you carry a few kilos, you glycogen stores are a maximum of about 500gms. Not only can this improve sporting performance, but also increases your life span by reducing the amount of oxidative stress within your body's cells. (Leptin for Laymen 3, ROS)

Fat Blacks make you sexy!

Ok, maybe that is a little bit of a stretch, but they do really help to balance out your sex hormones. You see all of your steriodal hormones, including your sex hormones are made of something called pregnenolone. When you have a fat black, which contains a lot of the ingredients to make pregnenolone, it steers it towards making more of the the good stuff, sex hormones. In the morning if you introduce sweet stuff, which includes milky coffee without sugar (milk contains lactose), you steer your hormones towards making cortisol (stress hormone) and insulin. It steals the building blocks from your sex hormones which should be peaking at that time of the day. (This is covered in the Leptin for Laymen 4 video). Having a fat black leaves pregnenolone free to become awesome sex hormones. This in turn also increases your life expectancy.

But I don't drink/like coffee.

Try it with tea!

Personally, I wouldn't start my day any other way. In my day to day life, I have noticed an increase in being able to grasp complex concepts, I have loads more energy and now run all obstacle races with only fat blacks in my stomach and still have plenty of energy at the end.